We’re in the thick of January—the “slog” of the year. Maybe you’ve made resolutions, maybe you haven’t. Maybe you’ve already tossed them in the garbage and lit a match. . .

Either way, this time of year brings its own pressures. Everywhere you look, there’s a “new year, new you” message, telling you to be a better version of yourself. And honestly, it can be a lot.

Rather than adding to that pressure, let’s simplify. Sometimes, when life feels overwhelming, it helps to boil things down to two basic options.

You’ve probably heard someone say, “There are two types of people in the world…” Now, there are never just two types of people in the world, but generalizations like that can make things feel a little more digestible, right?

In the same way, I want to offer you a way to simplify your thinking in moments of stress or overwhelm—a way to boil it all down to two choices. And it’s as simple as asking yourself this:

Am I coming from love, or am I coming from fear?

Why Love vs. Fear?

When we’re overwhelmed, stressed, or uncertain, fear often sneaks in and starts running the show. It’s human, but it can snowball quickly before we even realize it.

Think about those moments when the “what ifs” pop up:

• What if I fail?

• What will they think of me?

• Maybe I’m not ready yet.

Fear doesn’t always look obvious. It wears a lot of disguises:

• Procrastination—delaying something because the thought of starting feels too daunting.

• Perfectionism—waiting for things to be flawless before sharing them (which means you might never share them).

• Overthinking—playing out every worst-case scenario before you’ve even begun.

• People-pleasing—saying yes to things you don’t want to do, just to avoid conflict.

For me, fear often shows up as over-rehearsing. I’ll go over something too many times because, at some level, I don’t trust myself to get it right once I’m in the moment.

At the end of the day, fear feels bad. It’s restrictive and exhausting. It’s the voice that says, “Stay small. Stay safe.”

What Does Love Look Like?

Coming from love feels entirely different. It’s warm, expansive, and encouraging. Love slows things down and reminds you that it’s going to work out in the way it’s meant to.

Love doesn’t demand perfection. It doesn’t rush you or make you feel like you’re failing. Instead, it invites curiosity:

• What if this works out better than I imagined?

• What’s one small step I can take today?

Love can look like:

• Taking a deep breath before reacting.

• Setting boundaries to protect your energy and time.

• Encouraging yourself instead of tearing yourself down.

• Celebrating small wins instead of waiting for the “big” moments.

• Trusting the process, even when it feels messy.

When you come from love, you’re not only more compassionate with yourself—you’re also better equipped to handle challenges. Neuroscientists have found that fear activates the fight-or-flight part of your brain, which shuts down creativity and problem-solving. Love, on the other hand, engages the part of your brain that helps you stay calm, focused, and open to possibilities.

How to Practice Coming From Love

This isn’t about banishing fear entirely. Fear is human and normal. But you can notice it when it shows up and choose to come from love instead. Here are two simple ways to practice:

1. Pause and Reflect
   When you catch yourself overwhelmed, overthinking, or holding back, take a mental timeout. Ask yourself: Am I coming from love, or coming from fear? Sometimes, just identifying it is enough to shift your mindset.

2. Set a Daily Intention
   Each morning, before diving into your to-do list, set an intention to come from love. Write it at the top of your planner, stick it on a Post-it, or simply say it to yourself. For me, I write “COME FROM LOVE” at the top of my daily list as a reminder to approach the day with compassion—for myself and others.

Why It Matters

When we come from love, we stop being so hard on ourselves. We see mistakes as part of the process instead of a sign of failure. We approach life with curiosity instead of judgment, and we start to trust that everything is working out as it should.

And the best part? That energy doesn’t just stay with us. It radiates outward, affecting how we show up in our relationships, how we speak to others, and how we navigate the world.

So as you move through this year, ask yourself: Am I coming from love, or am I coming from fear? And remember, life feels so much better when we come from love.

Here’s to a great year ahead. Here’s to you.